You Can Jump to the Beach ! Learn How on Page 4-5
You Can Jump to the
Beach !As repeatedly demonstrated on the pages of previous issues of
exPRESSion, almost no other journalistic media gets the facts
right as often as us! Well, look at what we have next uncovered.
This is just amazing!
You may have seen for yourself how truthful and fact-based exPRESSion’s hard-hitting journalism is. From our real-ghosts-on-film story
to our hovering-students-prove-gravity-anomaly article, you know how you can trust our science! So, with no further delay, let us now show how you can
JUMP TO THE BEACH
It’s easy! Here’s how: 1.) Jump high (31.7 inches minimum), 2.) Bend your knees to an exactly 53-degree angle (exactly!), 3.) Remember to land. This
is a vital step because failing to end your jump can result in not-returning to Earth and simply drifting off into outer space, which of course can have
exceptionally dangerous effects on one’s health; one must always remember to end the jump phase. Finally, 4.) Land at the beach. Landing elsewhere will
likely compromise your ability to land at the beach. Not landing at the beach is likely from a wrong knee-bend angle. Heya, 53 degrees people; it’s easy.
In the above demonstration, Emma Craig successfully jumps to the beach. While Craig was then enrolled in a Photography 2 class and was then learning
photo-manipulation including how to change backgrounds, exPRESSion’s editor believes this to be a true jump-to -the-beach photographic proof.